peaceful
by itsmimi
Summary: lonely nights and force bonds acting up. (post TLJ)


The nights on Tatooine were long and cold.

It was a desert planet, so that was just logical. What wasn't logical was why the last survivors of the resistance even went there.

General Organa had argumented that no one would suspect them there. There wasn't actually an argument, she had just ordered it.

Rey secretly assumed it was because of Luke. But she didn't dare to ask the general. She did respect her too much to invade her privacy like that. On the other hand there was nothing Rey would love more than getting of this gruesome planet which reminded her so much of her former home.

They were a few things she would love more, but let's not dive into that.

She had lain awake for hours, trying not to let her mind travel to a certain person.

It was like a curse. She kept remembering him. His touch. His words. His painful expression when she had shut him out.

What if she was to blame for him turning again?

What if she was no better than Luke Skywalker?

Her thoughts were completely unreasoned, she knew that. However, Rey just wanted it to be true. If it would have been her fault, she could be the one to fix everything.

But she couldn't.

It wasn't her decision.

He was just a _monster_.

It echoed in her head.

 _Monster! Monster! Monster!_

Angrily she grabbed the sheets on her bed, just to do something, to let her anger out. She wanted to escape. She wanted to think about Kylo Ren never again.

But she _missed_ him. She missed Ben Solo, but much more horrifying was that she missed Kylo Ren too. Not that she would ever tell a single soul about it – in fact, she wouldn't even admit it to herself.

It might just be weird without the force bond. Maybe she missed a challenging fight. It could be that she just wanted to give General Organa her son back. What if it was herself feeling angry that she made a wrong decision? Or could it be the weather? Who knew?

Rey sighed, releasing the pressure from her muscles.

This was ridiculous.

She turned around on her bed to finally try to rest, and ended up almost screaming.

There he was.

Kylo Ren.

Ben Solo.

His eyes were closed and his expression soft, as if he couldn't hurt a fly. She didn't dare to breathe. She didn't want to disturb him.

Peaceful resting in times like these was a rarity – and she hated herself for understanding, no, relating to him again. Rey sighed, still not moving an inch.

She didn't want to wake him up, that would just be cruel.

Secretly, she didn't want to let him go again. She had no idea how that force bond worked or how she could activate it. He on the other hand, she was sure of it, knew exactly how to keep her out. Why else had there been a total quiet in the last few days?

Suddenly he moved and Rey almost flinched. But he wasn't waking up. He wasn't trying to kill her. He just shifted a little and moved his hand – onto hers.

Rey felt hot and cold at the same time. What was he doing? Of course he didn't know, because he was asleep, but what was she supposed to do now?

Rey should just let go. Just try shutting him out again. Shouldn't she?

But it was so nice and cozy with him, almost like an alternate reality. A reality in which he would've chosen the light side, chosen Rey.

 _But he has already chosen you,_ a voice inside her head whispered. Rey ignored it. Was it the truth? Or was it a lie? It would hurt her no matter how she put it. She would always lose.

So she just ignored it.

Ignored the world.

The truth.

The lies.

Just for one night she didn't want to care, she just wanted to fall asleep holding hands with the only important person in the universe in that moment. Her Ben.

What if tomorrow was a day full of suffering? Maybe the day after tomorrow wouldn't be, there was still hope. There was always hope.

The light would win, with or without Ben Solo, but to be honest? Rey would be so much happier if he would stand by her side when they let the universe rebuild itself. When they saved it.

With a small smile on her lips she slowly drifted away. There was always hope.

Even for Ben Solo.


End file.
